Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Prayer and 14


OK - so we weren't as cute as this deliver guy...  But we did get some nice help from the folks at HyVee in packaging our gift bags to go out! 

So... today I was blessed by confirmations from God.  We started the day with praying over who to take bags to.  See today was the day we went to deliver some Simply Grace Christmas Grocery bags.  As we were out, we were driving through a part of town and just looking at homes.  I said to Mel, let's take one to that place.  Just felt convicted. 

Well, when she came back, she said that was the home that needed it the most.  Lots of little kids under 6 or so.  Anyway, we went on to a convenience store and then out to find our last assigned address, which was a bit of a struggle.  After getting lost (well, you don't really get lost in Sioux Center, more just not finding what you're looking for), we finally found the right street.  You won't believe it, but it ends up that it was the same place!  Like we couldn't find it, and when we turned the corner we said, no way, it couldn't be the same place.... Sure enough it was.  God was definately asking us to get something to this family. 

So tonight I'm left thinking of his answers to prayer.  His faithful ness.  Even in the midst of my fully realizing how many needy people are in this town alone, how many kids are without the "good" times and things that we get to enjoy everyday, how many struggle for basic provisions, etc., I am rejoicing in His love.  He has a plan and will guide us if we pay attention. 

I am specifically asking for prayers for the family that we'll call 14.  I just feel a burden for them and know that the Lord wants us to lift them up.  I don''t know their name or their circumstances.  However, God does.  May they find a new place with him over this Christmas season.  May his plans for him be good, not to harm you or fail you... to bless you...  Oh how I pray that he blesses them! 

I thank    

The Storm


I can't help but smile today.  We have a blizzard coming, and everyone's plans for Christmas are up in the air.  Talk to anyone and that is the talk.  So - why am I smiling?  Well, I imagine that God has a perfect plan in this.  Isn't it just like him to send a major snow storm to help us slow down?  It's as if he is saying - "excuse me, but LISTEN - slow down and take in the bithday of my son - enough already!" 

AND I imagine that this year, more than others, my family will have quality time together and that we'll focus more on Jesus and the season, instead of the presents and the business. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't imagine that he doesn't want us to do any presents or see family.  If wtih the right heart, I think he rejoices in those things.  I just think that we've allowed ourselves to get things out of perspective a bit.  So, perhaps instead of cursing the storm, we should stop and say "THANK YOU" or "I'm LISTENING"

I am praying for safety during this storm.  I'm praying for the homeless and those without food.  What a terrible time for them.  Be near God, and protect.  But I'm also praying that in the slowness of it, that we can remember who sent the storm, and that we can worship him in wonder. 

Friday, December 18, 2009


He is Here...




This song has been running through my head today amongst the Christmas music that I so love. Listen to it and absorb the words.



As I think about the nearness of Christmas, I'm awed by the birth of Jesus. While we rush to buy presents, wrap them, and attend parties, we are the crux of the celebration of the birth of our Savior. I imagine him lying in a manager and this song echoing in the back ground. He is here, halleuia, he is here, amen.. he is here - here him calling out your name, he is here, you can touch him, you will never be the same.



That's what this is all about. This crazy busy season. HE is here... He came in flesh and blood. He died for our sins, and we will never be the same again. AMEN!!!



On Christmas day, I've decided this year to start a seasonal prayer and fasting from Christmas to Easter. First and foremost, to make me acknowledge the majesty of our God. Second, to uplift the Compel conference and other conferences I will be involved in prior to Easter. HE is here, and I am calling out to him. I want him to know that I worship and adore him. I also want to invite him here... to our conference, where we desire to unite women for Him.



Father God, we thank you for being here, for coming here, and for leaving the spirit to dwell within us. We pray that you will remind us of your presence. we know that where 2 or 3 are gathered in your name you are there. However, we also long for you to be present in a magnificent way. Come like a rushing wind and move each one of us as we attempt to learn how to "Draw Near to you!" We love you God, and we love this season. May we not love it for the presents or the food, but for the gift of your son coming to Earth. He is here, and coming again. AMEN!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I'm Alive, I'm Alive, I'm Alive, I'm Alive

I'm Alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive....

I've been praying for headache healing for quite a while now.  Tonight I was lifting up and asking for prayers as I struggle with one.

I began to have the tune I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive on my lips.  We sing this at Harp & Bowl.  While I showered with Emma we sang and danced to this.  (Sorry for the visual!) 

As Tom gets her settled for bed, I decide to go to one of my favorite prayer room internet sites.  I get it up, and guess what they are singing...

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive...  WOW!!!

Many may call this coincidence, but I can't help but think that God gave me that song and led me to this site for tonight.  I had been praying for release so that I could live in fullness with my children.  The headache is still there, but my heart is lifted.  He is always there and don't ask me why I am always amazed that He speaks to us and through us.  I'm moved beyond words!  Thank you Jesus for your love and for this hope tonight.  I'm Alive and I'm in love with you!    

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Control...




Oh how I struggle with this... I want to be in control.  Many times I find myself wrestling wth God on this one.  This past week He has been so Good to me... 

I have been struggling for some time now questioning if I'm walking in God's will or in fleshly desires.  This week he opened doors for me to speak at 2 engagements that I feel are God appointments.  True blessings from him and however things turn out, he's affirmed direction.  He is in control and did some of this in His time and not mine.  Althought I don't know how all will unfold, I have been reminded that his plan is far greater than I could imagine.   

Late last week my dad discovered that he had some heart problems.  He needed bypass surgery, but opted in stead for 2 shunts and leaving one artery blocked.  I was very worried about this option.  On my drive home from the hospital Friday night, God once again reminded me to be still and know that he is God.  He is in control and His desires will be accomplished.  Funny how he moves us at just the right time:-) 

Why do we do this?  God loves us so, and has good in store for us, yet we in our carnal human flesh fight him for control.  His every desire is to love us and draw near to us and move His Spirit in us, and we let ourselves get in the way of the plans he has for us.  Why do we not trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding?  I know many times I think subconsciuosly that my plan is better.... Ugh...  He loved us enough to create us human and then send his Spirit to live in us so that he could lead, nudge and guide us.  WOW.... I'm so humbled and so grateful that he is patient and compassionate God. 

I ran across this website of abstract christian intrepretative art.  I imagine the Spirit of God literally taking hold of this gentlemans hand and brush and sparking thoughts that create these works of art.  I envision him sitting meditating with his bible.  Coffee in one hand, bible open in the other.  Praying over verses and asking for revelation.  Then going to his studio and creating.  Not fleshly desires, but heavenly intrepreations.  He's been blessed with a gift and is using it for the kingdom.  May God use me in the same way in accordance with his will! (To go to the link, click on the title "Control..." at the top...) 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Striving for Perfection...

As we close in on the tour of homes, I'm left feeling bewildered by it all!  (YES, I took your word for the day Niki!)  We have literally worked to finish each thing, clean each thing, and decorate in a beautiful fashion.  (With a great deal of help!)  While it's been a blessing to see those who have helped and supported, (including my dear friend Jill Kerby who brought over a delightful home cooked meal tonight:-))  it also leaves me feeling the shallowness of it all.  We're striving for perfection with our home so that others will think we are good housekeepers and homeowners????  Seriously??? 

Why don't I strive for perfection with my God?  I need to keep my eyes on the prize....  turn them to Jesus and find solitude in that. 

Each day I feel more and more hungry for God.  The songs that run through my head aren't as good as the quiet time anymore.  I need more of that! 

So, a tour is going through, for a great cause - cancer research.  I'm glad we're getting ready, but I also want to keep things in perspective.  I'm faced with the reality each day that Jesus may return.  He will not care how my house looks, or if he sees a bit of dust somewhere.  That is unless that dust is within the heart that he lives in. 

Tonight I'm asking my accountability people to hold me true to this...  I want to spend the next 3 weeks getting myself ready for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, as I have spent the last three weeks getting my home ready.  I feel guilty for having to even ask for accountability, but I want to seriously do some cleaning house in my spiritual walk and reunite with the God of the universe in a new way.  I want to be Striving for perfection....  so that he may someday say well done, good and faithful servant!       

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Recent Dream...

So... I never dream. Or at least I don't remember them. Today I awoke with slight memories of a dream from last night about lemons and limes. (are you laughing out loud?) I can remember that I was trying to tell what the difference was between the two of them in terms of taste and was having a hard time. Don't know the setting, don't know why, Just that I was stuck on trying to tell what was different between a lemon and a lime. I also had this stirring within me that God doesn't want us to waste so much time focusing on the little differences. In my awake mind, lemons and lime have slightly different taste, and obviously different color. But I can' help thinking that there is a deeper message embedded. We get so hung up on the difference in taste at times that we can't enjoy them. Tom and I love to travel to Mexico. I also love to have a "Lime" in my diet coke. SO... in mexico, their diet coke tastes different, so I always try to order it with a lime. Nearly without fail, I will get it with a lemon in it. (smile) At times I have found myself hung up on vacation ove r this minor detail. Seriously... I'm on a georgous beach and hung up over a lime! (Roll eyes here!) Today, I'm reflecting on enjoying what GOd has given me and prising him for it. I feel he wants my focus to be ont he things he created for us and gave us, and that we not get lost in focusing the minor things. I can clearly see areas in my past where I have done this that I need to let go of. I can't help but ask what else I'm missing here. If feel a heavy burden that this all means more... Anyone have insight for me? What does this silly dream speak to you? Perhaps it will help take the burden from my heart.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Compassion...

I ran across this tonight from Henry Nouwen and it made me want to have a heart like Jesus all the more. It also made me realize how easy it is to fall short. How much I've missed when I've read my bible and thought about him with compassion. The last sentence really touched me. How GREAT the Father's love for us? WOW.... There is a beautiful expression in the Gospels that appears only twelve times and is used exclusively in reference to Jesus or his Father. That expression is “to be moved with compassion.” The Greek verb splangchnizomai reveals to us the deep and powerful meaning of this expression. The splangchna are the entrails of the body, or as we might say today, the guts. They are the place where our most intimate and intense emotions are located. They are the centre from which both passionate love and passionate hate grow. When the Gospels speak about Jesus’ compassion as his being moved in the entrails, they are expressing something very deep and mysterious. The compassion that Jesus felt was obviously quite different from superficial or passing feelings of sorrow or sympathy. Rather, it extended to the most vulnerable part of his being. It is related to the Hebrew word for compassion, rachamim, which refers to the womb of Yahweh. Indeed, compassion is such a deep, central, and powerful emotion in Jesus that it can only be described as a movement of the womb of God. There, all the divine tenderness and gentleness lies hidden. There, God is father and mother, brother and sister, son and daughter. There, all feelings, emotions, and passions are one in divine love. When Jesus was moved to compassion, the source of all life trembled, the ground of all love burst open, and the abyss of God’s immense, inexhaustible, and unfathomable tenderness revealed itself.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I downloaded photos from my camera today looking for some great shots from our bonfire on the deck last night. Apparently Emma had gotten ahold of the camera, and the shot above is one of her MANY great shots. Needless to say, I had some interest angles and views of things in our house.
As I was deleting these, it resonated with me how differently she sees the world than I do. I had never thought of it from her perspective. She's right around 3 feet tall. The photos she took were at her eye level. What I, as a big person thought was silly garbage, is what she see's as she is walking forward most days. (Ok, she is looking everywhere but forward most days, but you get what I'm saying:-) The more I looked, the more I felt guilty for the times I have yelled at her for running into something or not seeing something that I was trying to get her to see.
We are like Emma. God see's things in such a greater view than we could ever imagine. Once in a while we get the good sense to "look up" and we get it. Unfortunately, most of the time, we can only see things from where we are... and it is such a different place than where God is seeing us at. Just like we love and care for our children when they are stuck in the here and now, so does God. Just as we try to teach them and call out to them when they are about to run into something, so does God... and just like Emma, sometimes I don't listen. Sometimes I don't hear. Sometimes, I'm running so fast, I don't even know He's in the room. Sometimes I want to take the camera and take a picture and cry and say why did you put me here?? and then sometimes, I crawl up on His lap, and snuggle in and say "I love you Daddy" and lay my head on His shoulder and let Him take care of me...
Thank heavens I have a sweet little girl that can give me perspective!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Our little Gymnist

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3 Today was Emma's first day of Gymnastics. I can't begin to tell you how my heart melted as I saw my baby all grown up in her little leotard and ready to go. And then... class began. And she crawled up on my lap and still needed her mom. She needed that gentle reassurance that she could do it and she would be ok. That I would be right there with her and would not leave her. That she could touch me when she was scared. (And my heart melted for her:-)) As I became a part of the pre-gym class, and struggled to touch my toes, she was beaming that her mommy didn't leave her side. As she got more comfortable, I was gradually able to sit behind her, and eventually leave the mat and let her go alone with the rest of the class. (embarassed that all the other mommy's had to watch my butt from behind:-( ) Later I walked into the next room where she was and she scream "there's my mommy" and nearly jumped up to run to me. It strikes me that I should be more like this with Jesus. Not wanting to let him go, and always needing him nearby. If I sense his Holy Spirit nearby, should I hold back, or let my joy out and scream "there's my Jesus, His Holy Spirit." Father, teach me to enter your kingdom with a childlike heart. May our relationship resemble gymnastics class today, and may I want you close at all times and not grow too independent.

He Speaks

Some days God just touches your heart. Today has been one of those days for me. It started when I opened my e-mail and had several responses to an e-mail for Simply Grace to help the Hernandez family. In a time when it's easy to think the world has gone bad, there are so MANY good people. Those reminders can't be there often enough and I am so grateful for each person who is able to reach out to help this family, even if that is in prayer for them. Then shortly after lunch I opened my mailbox and opened the package from my new friend Lisa Oliver. She was with me at "She Speaks." and wrote a book called Fly with Me on Wings of Hope. She writes devotions in it about the death of her 10 year old son, and then her husband a few years later. I read her book in one afternoon and reflected on conversations we had had, and what a blessing she is to call friend. God is using her to speak to so many others. Even without the grief, she was able to speak to my heart. Tonight, I received an e-mail from a friend who utilized a passage that we have been considering doing a retreat on for Simply Grace. This is the third confirmation that I have received on this passage. Although the time and location may be up in the air, I think he is clearly leading us to this passage. I can't wait to see what He has in store... I praise you God, for your love. The comfort of which I felt shining on me today. Whether it's whispers or shouts, or just gentle nudges, I will rejoice in your presence!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Morning by Morning

Morning by Morning
Lamentations 3:22-25
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him...

This photo was taken off our back deck one day last week. I love it because the field is fresh cut and the fog is rising along with the sun. If was a breath taking view and I HAD to get a shot of it. God had painted a perfect picture for me to start the day with. His love is amazing to me. Morning by morning your mercies are new continually resounded through my head.
I was resonating on the adoption of my friends Roger and Niki. They arrived home today with their beautiful baby girl, and their family starts a new "morning" in their life tomorrow, after much waiting on him. Their present fog has lifted and their sun is rising. Even as I reflect on it, I'm in awe at his faithfulness and love.
I'm pausing tonight to worship him, and to reflect on how much I allow our triune God to be my portion. Am I pressing into him and relying on him? Or am I thinking I'm doing "good enough?" I feel I've hit a wall in my growth and am seeking more. I want to know his desires for my life and speaking ministry and am not hearing his voice. This verse speaks to me tonight, because tomorrow his compassion is new, and I will wait for Him. He will reveal himself when He is ready. In the meantime, I will love Him and press in and continue to seek him and his will, knowing each morning His love for me abounds. I want to serve him and walk in his will. I pray that my fog will lift and my sunrise will shine through.
Thank you Jesus for your glory and your majesty. Your beautiful sunrise displays your love for us and the majestic creation God has created. Thank you for the gift of a sweet baby girl to my dear friend Niki and her family, and for their fog lifting. I thank you for the many other fog liftings this week that I have simply passed on by. As I pause, I pray that you will draw me closer to you and lift my fog and make your will known.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."
2 Tim. 2:19
He Knows My Name.
So there I was…the first morning of the conference. I entered breakfast rather uncomfortably, and just chose 2 women to sit down with. Little did I know one was a Proverbs 31 speaker and the other a special speaker for the event. At any rate, we clicked right away and I was chatting away with the gal I had breakfast with. She had a great role with a leadership ministry that I couldn’t wait to hear more about. We had the same first session and were talking non-stop even as we sat down. Some kind person in charge of the session kindly asked someone to move over so the two of us could sit together.
As the wildfire ministry guy started talking about marketing, we settled in and began taking notes. Soon, the gal on the other side of her spoke up with a question. As soon as she spoke, I thought, “Wow, her ministry sounds a lot like Mary Banks at Wow consulting.”
Two years ago I had e-mailed this lady after reading an article in a John Maxwell magazine and visiting her web site. I loved her work and her ministry and wanted to pray for her. I receive her monthly e-mail newsletter and pray for her each time I receive it. I couldn’t rationalize that she would be her, and I didn’t see her on the speaker list, but at quick glance she did seem to look a bit like her. At any rate, I didn’t hear much of the rest of the session, because I just HAD to know if she was Mary. Sure enough, as she stood up I could catch a glimpse of her name tag, and SHE WAS…
I introduced myself as the random gal from Iowa who had e-mailed to pray for her. (Of course she barely remembered! I can’t imagine how many e-mails she receives…) Anyway, she was there alone, so we had lunch together and got to know each other.
Following that time, we were able to attend another session together, in which she sat down by me (on her own!). The following day I was getting on the elevator and as the door opened, there she was leaving the two of us, alone, to talk. This might not sound like a big thing, but there were 600 people at this conference. God had this appointment set! I was so engaged in our talk I even got off on her floor instead of riding up to mine (major red face embarrassment!). I didn’t care though, because she knew my name. You see, when the elevator doors opened, she said, “Well Hi Jen!” I quickly looked down to see if my name tag was showing and it wasn’t! As soon as I got to my room on my floor, I called my husband. He answered and I immediately shouted, “SHE KNOWS MY NAME…MARY BANKS KNOWS MY NAME!” I was so excited that she knew my name.
I was supposed to be prepping for my talk that night, which didn’t happen. Deep within me, I couldn’t shake the feeling that God was saying, “I know your name. When was the last time you got that excited because I know your name? Seriously, Jen.”
We read in scripture… Psalm 139:1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. Vs. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Mary Banks is human. While I still admire her works, she is human. But GOD also knows my name. He knows everything about me. How can I get so giddy about one earthly human and miss the personal, loving, relationship with God? He wants more than to be Sovereign. He wants me to know Him intimately: to seek Him and search Him and know him. He waits on that…
Psalm 14:2
The LORD looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
Psalm 53:2
God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Acts 17:27
God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. WOW! What a great reminder that He wants me to SEEK Him! I should be singing this joy song every day. He knows my name. The God of this Universe, the maker of heaven and earth, the Alpha and Omega, that same guy, no seriously, the same one, He knows my name… Why don’t I rejoice in that every day? What causes me to take that for granted? Why am I not calling my husband and my friends and declaring this?
And He wants to have a personal relationship that is two sided with me, and it can be even deeper than it is today. WOW!
As I think about it, nothing was going to get in the way of Mary Banks. As we concluded our time on Sunday, she rejoiced in seeing me and gave me a big hug. Somehow, some of the magic was gone. OK – I was still very happy, but I had the song “He knows my name” ringing in my heard.
He’d taken His place back. I know that Mary was God appointed, and while I’m not certain how He’ll use this new relationship, I do know that He knows my name, and if I seek him through His Holy Spirit, He will reveal His plan to me.
Even as I write this, the song on the radio is singing, “Welcome home. I know you by name. How do you do? Come and be loved. Tell me how you are.” For now I will ask, seek, knock, and know that I will find. Praise God!