A Recent Dream...

So... I never dream. Or at least I don't remember them. Today I awoke with slight memories of a dream from last night about lemons and limes. (are you laughing out loud?) I can remember that I was trying to tell what the difference was between the two of them in terms of taste and was having a hard time. Don't know the setting, don't know why, Just that I was stuck on trying to tell what was different between a lemon and a lime. I also had this stirring within me that God doesn't want us to waste so much time focusing on the little differences. In my awake mind, lemons and lime have slightly different taste, and obviously different color. But I can' help thinking that there is a deeper message embedded. We get so hung up on the difference in taste at times that we can't enjoy them. Tom and I love to travel to Mexico. I also love to have a "Lime" in my diet coke. SO... in mexico, their diet coke tastes different, so I always try to order it with a lime. Nearly without fail, I will get it with a lemon in it. (smile) At times I have found myself hung up on vacation ove r this minor detail. Seriously... I'm on a georgous beach and hung up over a lime! (Roll eyes here!) Today, I'm reflecting on enjoying what GOd has given me and prising him for it. I feel he wants my focus to be ont he things he created for us and gave us, and that we not get lost in focusing the minor things. I can clearly see areas in my past where I have done this that I need to let go of. I can't help but ask what else I'm missing here. If feel a heavy burden that this all means more... Anyone have insight for me? What does this silly dream speak to you? Perhaps it will help take the burden from my heart.

Compassion...

I ran across this tonight from Henry Nouwen and it made me want to have a heart like Jesus all the more. It also made me realize how easy it is to fall short. How much I've missed when I've read my bible and thought about him with compassion. The last sentence really touched me. How GREAT the Father's love for us? WOW.... There is a beautiful expression in the Gospels that appears only twelve times and is used exclusively in reference to Jesus or his Father. That expression is “to be moved with compassion.” The Greek verb splangchnizomai reveals to us the deep and powerful meaning of this expression. The splangchna are the entrails of the body, or as we might say today, the guts. They are the place where our most intimate and intense emotions are located. They are the centre from which both passionate love and passionate hate grow. When the Gospels speak about Jesus’ compassion as his being moved in the entrails, they are expressing something very deep and mysterious. The compassion that Jesus felt was obviously quite different from superficial or passing feelings of sorrow or sympathy. Rather, it extended to the most vulnerable part of his being. It is related to the Hebrew word for compassion, rachamim, which refers to the womb of Yahweh. Indeed, compassion is such a deep, central, and powerful emotion in Jesus that it can only be described as a movement of the womb of God. There, all the divine tenderness and gentleness lies hidden. There, God is father and mother, brother and sister, son and daughter. There, all feelings, emotions, and passions are one in divine love. When Jesus was moved to compassion, the source of all life trembled, the ground of all love burst open, and the abyss of God’s immense, inexhaustible, and unfathomable tenderness revealed itself.

I downloaded photos from my camera today looking for some great shots from our bonfire on the deck last night. Apparently Emma had gotten ahold of the camera, and the shot above is one of her MANY great shots. Needless to say, I had some interest angles and views of things in our house.

As I was deleting these, it resonated with me how differently she sees the world than I do. I had never thought of it from her perspective. She's right around 3 feet tall. The photos she took were at her eye level. What I, as a big person thought was silly garbage, is what she see's as she is walking forward most days. (Ok, she is looking everywhere but forward most days, but you get what I'm saying:-) The more I looked, the more I felt guilty for the times I have yelled at her for running into something or not seeing something that I was trying to get her to see.

We are like Emma. God see's things in such a greater view than we could ever imagine. Once in a while we get the good sense to "look up" and we get it. Unfortunately, most of the time, we can only see things from where we are... and it is such a different place than where God is seeing us at. Just like we love and care for our children when they are stuck in the here and now, so does God. Just as we try to teach them and call out to them when they are about to run into something, so does God... and just like Emma, sometimes I don't listen. Sometimes I don't hear. Sometimes, I'm running so fast, I don't even know He's in the room. Sometimes I want to take the camera and take a picture and cry and say why did you put me here?? and then sometimes, I crawl up on His lap, and snuggle in and say "I love you Daddy" and lay my head on His shoulder and let Him take care of me...

Thank heavens I have a sweet little girl that can give me perspective!

Our little Gymnist

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3 Today was Emma's first day of Gymnastics. I can't begin to tell you how my heart melted as I saw my baby all grown up in her little leotard and ready to go. And then... class began. And she crawled up on my lap and still needed her mom. She needed that gentle reassurance that she could do it and she would be ok. That I would be right there with her and would not leave her. That she could touch me when she was scared. (And my heart melted for her:-)) As I became a part of the pre-gym class, and struggled to touch my toes, she was beaming that her mommy didn't leave her side. As she got more comfortable, I was gradually able to sit behind her, and eventually leave the mat and let her go alone with the rest of the class. (embarassed that all the other mommy's had to watch my butt from behind:-( ) Later I walked into the next room where she was and she scream "there's my mommy" and nearly jumped up to run to me. It strikes me that I should be more like this with Jesus. Not wanting to let him go, and always needing him nearby. If I sense his Holy Spirit nearby, should I hold back, or let my joy out and scream "there's my Jesus, His Holy Spirit." Father, teach me to enter your kingdom with a childlike heart. May our relationship resemble gymnastics class today, and may I want you close at all times and not grow too independent.

He Speaks

Some days God just touches your heart. Today has been one of those days for me. It started when I opened my e-mail and had several responses to an e-mail for Simply Grace to help the Hernandez family. In a time when it's easy to think the world has gone bad, there are so MANY good people. Those reminders can't be there often enough and I am so grateful for each person who is able to reach out to help this family, even if that is in prayer for them. Then shortly after lunch I opened my mailbox and opened the package from my new friend Lisa Oliver. She was with me at "She Speaks." and wrote a book called Fly with Me on Wings of Hope. She writes devotions in it about the death of her 10 year old son, and then her husband a few years later. I read her book in one afternoon and reflected on conversations we had had, and what a blessing she is to call friend. God is using her to speak to so many others. Even without the grief, she was able to speak to my heart. Tonight, I received an e-mail from a friend who utilized a passage that we have been considering doing a retreat on for Simply Grace. This is the third confirmation that I have received on this passage. Although the time and location may be up in the air, I think he is clearly leading us to this passage. I can't wait to see what He has in store... I praise you God, for your love. The comfort of which I felt shining on me today. Whether it's whispers or shouts, or just gentle nudges, I will rejoice in your presence!

Morning by Morning

Morning by Morning

Lamentations 3:22-25

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him...

This photo was taken off our back deck one day last week. I love it because the field is fresh cut and the fog is rising along with the sun. If was a breath taking view and I HAD to get a shot of it. God had painted a perfect picture for me to start the day with. His love is amazing to me. Morning by morning your mercies are new continually resounded through my head.

I was resonating on the adoption of my friends Roger and Niki. They arrived home today with their beautiful baby girl, and their family starts a new "morning" in their life tomorrow, after much waiting on him. Their present fog has lifted and their sun is rising. Even as I reflect on it, I'm in awe at his faithfulness and love.

I'm pausing tonight to worship him, and to reflect on how much I allow our triune God to be my portion. Am I pressing into him and relying on him? Or am I thinking I'm doing "good enough?" I feel I've hit a wall in my growth and am seeking more. I want to know his desires for my life and speaking ministry and am not hearing his voice. This verse speaks to me tonight, because tomorrow his compassion is new, and I will wait for Him. He will reveal himself when He is ready. In the meantime, I will love Him and press in and continue to seek him and his will, knowing each morning His love for me abounds. I want to serve him and walk in his will. I pray that my fog will lift and my sunrise will shine through.

Thank you Jesus for your glory and your majesty. Your beautiful sunrise displays your love for us and the majestic creation God has created. Thank you for the gift of a sweet baby girl to my dear friend Niki and her family, and for their fog lifting. I thank you for the many other fog liftings this week that I have simply passed on by. As I pause, I pray that you will draw me closer to you and lift my fog and make your will known.