Control...

Oh how I struggle with this... I want to be in control.  Many times I find myself wrestling wth God on this one.  This past week He has been so Good to me... 

I have been struggling for some time now questioning if I'm walking in God's will or in fleshly desires.  This week he opened doors for me to speak at 2 engagements that I feel are God appointments.  True blessings from him and however things turn out, he's affirmed direction.  He is in control and did some of this in His time and not mine.  Althought I don't know how all will unfold, I have been reminded that his plan is far greater than I could imagine.   

Late last week my dad discovered that he had some heart problems.  He needed bypass surgery, but opted in stead for 2 shunts and leaving one artery blocked.  I was very worried about this option.  On my drive home from the hospital Friday night, God once again reminded me to be still and know that he is God.  He is in control and His desires will be accomplished.  Funny how he moves us at just the right time:-) 

Why do we do this?  God loves us so, and has good in store for us, yet we in our carnal human flesh fight him for control.  His every desire is to love us and draw near to us and move His Spirit in us, and we let ourselves get in the way of the plans he has for us.  Why do we not trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding?  I know many times I think subconsciuosly that my plan is better.... Ugh...  He loved us enough to create us human and then send his Spirit to live in us so that he could lead, nudge and guide us.  WOW.... I'm so humbled and so grateful that he is patient and compassionate God. 

I ran across this website of abstract christian intrepretative art.  I imagine the Spirit of God literally taking hold of this gentlemans hand and brush and sparking thoughts that create these works of art.  I envision him sitting meditating with his bible.  Coffee in one hand, bible open in the other.  Praying over verses and asking for revelation.  Then going to his studio and creating.  Not fleshly desires, but heavenly intrepreations.  He's been blessed with a gift and is using it for the kingdom.  May God use me in the same way in accordance with his will! (To go to the link, click on the title "Control..." at the top...) 

Striving for Perfection...

As we close in on the tour of homes, I'm left feeling bewildered by it all!  (YES, I took your word for the day Niki!)  We have literally worked to finish each thing, clean each thing, and decorate in a beautiful fashion.  (With a great deal of help!)  While it's been a blessing to see those who have helped and supported, (including my dear friend Jill Kerby who brought over a delightful home cooked meal tonight:-))  it also leaves me feeling the shallowness of it all.  We're striving for perfection with our home so that others will think we are good housekeepers and homeowners????  Seriously??? 

Why don't I strive for perfection with my God?  I need to keep my eyes on the prize....  turn them to Jesus and find solitude in that. 

Each day I feel more and more hungry for God.  The songs that run through my head aren't as good as the quiet time anymore.  I need more of that! 

So, a tour is going through, for a great cause - cancer research.  I'm glad we're getting ready, but I also want to keep things in perspective.  I'm faced with the reality each day that Jesus may return.  He will not care how my house looks, or if he sees a bit of dust somewhere.  That is unless that dust is within the heart that he lives in. 

Tonight I'm asking my accountability people to hold me true to this...  I want to spend the next 3 weeks getting myself ready for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, as I have spent the last three weeks getting my home ready.  I feel guilty for having to even ask for accountability, but I want to seriously do some cleaning house in my spiritual walk and reunite with the God of the universe in a new way.  I want to be Striving for perfection....  so that he may someday say well done, good and faithful servant!